Hi, kids from Rangiora! Do you have horrible mad scientist neighbours too? I wonder what your school is like, and if it’s anything like ours. Our library got burned down last year (and people think WE did it! when of course we didn’t. It’s not like we went there a lot. I didn’t even know where it was. No, not me.) We have to use the public library now instead – good thing it’s close by.
Jack’s there now, which is silly as we had a day off school today, yay!, as the only thing that Jack ever reads is comic books and manuals on how to put his boring machines together. They both have lots of pictures, so that’s why he likes them. It must be a boy thing. Dad likes magazines with lots of pictures as well, but he won’t let me read them, the big meanie.
But don’t think he’s gone to read anything! Nooo… I just think he has a crush on the new librarian. She’s not as pretty as me, though. You should see how he looks when we see her at school – like a big dumb doggie all hoping for a pat. Like Cerberus, really, before we killed him. Jack and Teacher up a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!!! Not that she’d want to kiss him, he’s gross. I don’t think he’s had a bath for two days.
I hope the librarian doesn’t go the same way. D’you think Jack will put her in one of his machines? I might help if he did…
He says he’s looking for information about giant insects. We want to go talk to horrible Anonymous, but Fred has gone missing. He does that sometimes. I wonder who he’s visiting? Maybe there are other couches like him somewhere… So we’re going to have to wait until he gets back, which is dumb. I don’t like to wait. Have tried calling for him in my highest voice, but Jack says I like a sick bat and if I don’t shut up he’ll turn my bed into a rack. He says that if Cerberus was alive he’d be howling right now.
Then he said he’d put nails in it when I told him he should use the internet instead of the library to find out stuff. That’s where I get all my recipes from! I don’t like the idea of being eaten by bugs. They eat lots of yucky things, I thought it was just plants and stuff! But there are some who eat meat, too, and some that eat stuff like honey. And some that eat POO!! EWWWWWW! I’d rather starve.
But worse than bugs eating poo is bugs eating ME. I’d rather eat them instead.
I think I’ll do some expewiments. Jack’s not the only one who can! What bug should I eat first, d’you think?
